Beginnings and Endings

As I board my train into Manhattan in the last full week of commuting to Brooklyn I'm sporting a huge grin even though it looks like rain. Knowing you are in the home stretch of something anxiety inducing is an immensely positive feeling. As for Brooklyn I should mention its irony.

My parents hail from Bay Ridge and Bensonhurst and came to Staten Island and made me. So as a kid I spent plenty of time on the stoops of Brooklyn and I loved it.

There is a just right feeling that parallels my memories of dentist visits on Bay Parkway and shopping at Century 21. The thought of ice cream at Hinsch's and preteen babble with my mom and Aunt Mary brings a twinge of happiness and a fond recollection of Kings County. I have no hate for Brooklyn itself. Only familial love.

The past couple years have been rocky for me...well maybe mountain and boulders are more apt. But in the face of nonsensical adversities that lie behind me now, I've learned a great deal about what I can and can't endure. All the stress and resulting hospitalization and medications have given me a boost if they've given me anything at all.

A lot of people might have just given an eye roll to that last paragraph or maybe someone exhaled in frustration but I gotta say it's likely due to their own discontent. One of the things I've learned that has been most valuable has hit me between the eyes twofold.

Part one: we can't control what the universe has in store for us but we can certainly purge our lives of any negative influences that do more harm than good.

Part two: when we are unhappy with our own lives, whether we mean to or not, we can not fully have joy for others. This little nugget leads to lots of anger, disdain for that which we don't comprehend, and most commonly: MISUNDERSTANDING.

When you have a moment of clarity it usually deserves capitals... But sorry if my YAWP hurt your ears.

Anyway I'm thinking that this may be the best train ramble I've had in a while, and although I'd love to make more, I have a book to write ad therefore won't be on nearly as many trains. (giggling with freakin glee)

So I think what I want to close with is a wish for everyone to go through a great deal of stuff that makes you wonder what your purpose is. Does that sound awful or what? Ha! I guess what I mean is that when you climb out of that murky lake of discontent you appreciate the everyday joy even more.

That sounds nicer, but I wholeheartedly endorse both sentiments. In order to get to the good, you need to climb through the crap. But keep climbing because there is clarity at the peak of the crap I promise!

Not what I thought would come out but you get the drift--don't give up because the hard work you do pays off in the end (or next chapter in this case)

Amen!

Now go sit in that cubicle that gives you screenface every day, or work with the children that make you cry as you travel home from frustration. Serve the customers you can not stand and get into the clothes you feel like burning.
Take your significant other's advice in a new light. Love your families extra when you want to slap them and smile when you think your child is going to put you over the edge.

These are everyday examples of stuff we have to deal with, but guess what? If we don't deal with our own baggage first, we should NOT offer to carry anyone else's to the gate.

I'm approaching Penn Station with a new lease on life today and as I like to say, prepared to live the shit out o it. Go do the same, you'll thank me I swear it.

Peace and Press Reset
Keri