Defense mechanisms

So in the past 24 hours I've seen all the heart wrenching images of Haiti that I have avoided by not turning on the news for some days. I know this may seem like the usual avoidance tactic & damn skippy we all know where that comes from, but it's a defense mechanism right? Defensive towards the gruesome pain of truth. It's like laughing when nervous or making jokes about hurtful memories.

That said, I watched the telethon last night as it was almost unavoidable and was on every channel I flipped through. With performances by the uber famous, and time donated by even more of the rich & famous it made me think. I know, I know, I think way too much. Yet I was struck by the input of all these fancy faces I saw answering phones and reassuring the regular people who called to say such things as "My six year old donated his allowance to Haiti. He's my hero" and "We are donating twenty five dollars on behalf of our granddaughter who has spinabifida."

Makes me wonder. Makes me wonder even more than usual about what it takes to get people's attention. Tragic natural disaster leads to international efforts to help, heal, feed, clothe and bring medical attention to those who lost their families, homes, everything. This is not to say that anything about this disaster should be trivialized. In fact, I think the opposite is true. There can never be enough positive attention by the rich, the famous, the well-known. However I wonder... I guess I would say I wonder wholeheartedly why it has to be something of such immense tragic magnitude that alerts the media, the upper classes, those with fame and fortune to the fact that the world crumbles sometimes.

I don't just mean crumbling in a literal sense. Think about all the chaos around us. Don't we crumble a little each year? Each month or week there is at least one reason why I think it a negative notion to watch the news. There is always someone overdosing at 20 or dying of massive heart attack at 30. There is always some kind of political strife in the world that makes us feel lucky to live in the place we do. Even in my own minuscule life I can easily think of a tragedy per year that made me feel like the world was crumbling.

What does it all mean then? Why should we even talk about things like Haiti's earthquake? In the same vein, why mention Conan's last show or the controversy surrounding he and Leno? Well, because there is rarely an escape from all this. Media onslaught, news overload, the gecko, the Jersey Shore, cavemen, the 800 pound gorilla in the room, the Sarah McLachlan backed images of puppies missing an eye, the ever present white elephant; these are all the monsters that keep us awake. They are the things that go bump in the night and make us feel uncomfortable in our own skin. However, they are also our salve. They work like silicone sheeting on the burn that spreads across our minds. We don't want to be scarred by it, so we use that proverbial balm.

What balm is this? Simply the thought that "Yeah my life is messed up, I'm not who I thought I would be and don't even know what I want" followed by a soothing dose of "At least it's not as terrible as what happened to them." Does it work? Well, we're all still here...so far. Therefore I wonder but as I've been wondering so long I suppose I also developed a bit of thankfulness. As long as it's applied daily it may even do what it's supposed to do: heal.

Day One

So I've been procrastinating for years and finally decided to start putting my writing up online for all to see. Not only have I finally managed to land one stable job, but I actually have the time to write that I've been longing for. Since I know there are so many others that long for it, I thought I'd share my stuff. By stuff I mean story, but stuff feels like a better word.

There is just so much stuff!

Since I've got lots to say/post/tell, please bear with me as I navigate the blogging world in the way I approach all things...head first, often blindly, with a bevy of spirit.

Enjoy & let me know what you think!