Winter Friend

What is a friend?

A friend is someone who tells you they love you,
supports you when you are sad or down,

A friend is someplace you can go
WITHOUT interruptions,

A Friend is red wine in a snowstorm and a smile,
laughing our way through supermarket aisles to find
coconut white chocolate and kom-bu-cha.

A friend is hot cocoa that overflows with marshmallows
and a smile on a child's face.

Unabashed love
support
non judgement.

As I make these notes I am surrounded by them
these friends who actually mean it,
and they don't leave they inspire me.

I always prayed deeply for solitude.
I should have prayed for solace.
Solitude sucks.

It hurts after just one week,
one month or three,
like a beating,
a murder,
indecision maybe.

There's a place I used to go called the Nest.
only me and a few friends would. venture. underneath. and in.
Irony in it's name, the Nest.
But given the way that family can hurt us too,
it takes a Nest
to leave the nest
to lose the best
forget the mess
and swallow your anger and pain.

Grew indifference yes I did.
spewed hate and
mad
and
sad
for show.
However, now I know
I would never
ever
be who I am
if I had walked without a Winter Friend.