12 August 2012

New Lead in Hamburgler Case

Police announced early this morning that they have taken a second man into custody in the case of the missing hamburger buns.



Seamus "The Stick" Hickory was seen drinking in public at Verona Park, and picked up when a passerby noted that he had seen Hickory at local events where food had gone missing. Witnesses corroborate that Hickory was in fact blamed for various thefts in the past; including socks and a baloney sandwich.

Hickory hails from Newark and spent the first part of his life well cared for but was left to fight for his life in a shelter at a shocking one year old. Hickory was adopted by a couple who provide a loving home and do not understand why he would turn to a life of petty crime. Hickory's mother is quoted as saying "He's such a sweet young man. We just don't know what he does with all of it--we feed him well. We are baffled by these recent events." The young man's father says, "Hickory is a bit hyper at times, but never aggressive in a mean way. He is no criminal. They must have the wrong guy."

As the story develops, we will keep you posted. In other developments, Reginald "Rudy" Brown has hired an attorney and plans to plead Not Guilty for all counts against him.

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