December Poem

small minds
smaller worries
drink it up
as it flurries
friends converge
touch sights
fingers grasp
share this byte
like
rare meat
we take a bite.

wolves drool
sheep shudder
manes shine
i stare at them all
and smile in wonder
wonderful
wonderous
bubble
i wonder
if it might
reach above

conflicted
converted
pretend
pretense
disconcerted
diverted
deserted

well i tried
who says
what is wrong
all i've known
was feeling right
or not so level

stuck between
two or three
whoever
who knows
what will be
will just be
and tomorrow
take flight
when truth comes
who's right
and
we
all
ask
why

who brought us to this place?
all I feel
all I know
my glass
of red wine
keeps thoughts damp
minds blurred
even with level
of what may be
let it be
let me see
i know
we want
he wonders quietly
she beams for attention
eyes roll
rocks jingle
drinks drained
liquid courage

i know
we want
nothing more than
to hold the hand
of another
poet who knows it
and understands
how much can be
held
in
one hand

may not deserve it
ask if it's worth it
have we even earned it
or still need to learn this

nobody knows what we know
nobody sees what i see
nobody feels what this is
nobody shakes with anticipation
like we do
but here we are and
yes
we all know
we all see
we all feel
we all shake
like we do
and I just want to be loved...

don't you?

Last Drafts from The Other Side of the Desk

As I fly through...make that slog through week 11 of my 12 week quarter, I grade research papers and portfolios 24/7 and am fueled by way too much coffee and not enough sleep. Thinking about what has made this a memorable quarter today, several funny blips popped to mind. Here are some noteworthy tidbits that assaulted my eyeballs this week:

• I know it's getting nice out, but bikini tops on campus? You are 1/2 way to the shore, just keep driving south and you'll fit right in dear hearts.
• I know we want to listen to music with our windows open, but if I can turn down "No Sleep till Brooklyn" as I enter the faculty lot, you can certainly lower your radio because nobody cares if you like salt all around that rim rim rim rim
• Props to all those who want to finish last minute assignments...no really, typing 10 assignments in one day is a good idea.
• Benefits of not sleeping in class: not having to ask each student what we are doing when you wake up, and actually knowing that we have 1 more day not 2 more weeks...unbelievable.
• It may not be advisable to shout about your ex-boyfriend in a classroom located next to the faculty offices, especially if you are mentioning guns, pills, or how he cut off his ankle monitoring device "up in that bitch last night"
• When asking how many days you have been absent, note whether or not you are responded to with your NAME in the sentence. Hint: if not, you may have missed too much.
• When watching YouTube in class, receiving IMs and/or playing any game that has a shooting component: TURN YOUR SPEAKERS OFF

While there are many things that take place during the last cherished weeks, these were just a few I thought would bring a laugh to the lips of those who get where I am coming from: The Other Side of the Desk. If anything above seemed sarcastic, good it was meant to. If anything was confusing, maybe it's not your time to be in school. Teachers and learners alike have a lovely rest of the week!

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uncle corpse is my idol

With the window through light shadows,
Lies an eternal darkness in the cupboard.
Tempered by the strobes within the cosmos,
Your words make me want to dance in the rain.
Paths on windshields, joining, creating,
Surge the high right to the edge,
We all fall down our shadows remain,
They fade only through the impaired ability to build and live.
Holding on to a time before it was a contest for who could hold a gaze the longest,
Or who could gaze in a general direction or grace my sheets.
I haven't slept in a lifetime, forgot what food feels like, sustenance reduced to a trickle of infinity.
Cigarettes need mouths to feed!
Filter out the toxins within my being,
Rip my bleeding brain from its ruptured myelin sheath,
Remains, heartbeat, steady, increasing,
Reduce me to nothing with the mere whisper of your touch,
Whose turn is it anyway?
I want to run my hair through your fingers and come away trembling with truth.
The liquid voice of judgement leaked static,
Through the veins of my existence.
I want to win so badly it hurts!
My nipples will perk up at the sight of fifty simoleans.
For 48.50 I will gnaw your areolas to shredded shadows of what they once were.
My time has come.


** An Exquisite Corpse collaboration Winter 2011 by:

An Incandescent Firefly, Jack Freedman, John Clinton, Keri English, Lauren Marie, Thomas Fucaloro

february 16th

words make me cry
eyes filling up
you are reading my life
in a poem

your perfect insecurity
my broken insanity
i don't write love poems
if i did i would write one for you

reminds me of an exquisite corpse
with beauty and pain in its eyes
rock facade on walls
rock music of years passed

passing time in this very place
from the age of fourteen
gathering loud
angsty small fists

in fishnets
in plaid skirts
in docs
in thermals

drinking from a flask
pilfered spirits
liquor cabinets divine
filled with whatever won't be noticed

creme de something
cask and whatever
shots everyday
sips at fifteen minute intervals

kept my words in that flask
they got blocked locked congested
clusterfucked
a new level of way too much

hundred pound girl
tolerance for JD and Jamesons
puts dad's to shame
makes mother cry

but it's fine
that was then
this is now
words make me cry.

open mic poem

she has crushes on guys who smoke weed,
he drinks tall glasses of three dollar beer with fruit,
they make me laugh
they help me smile
and overcome the gravity of a heart leaden and broken
broken like:
ground beef
through a shredder,
tree chipper,
or that thing that Chef Ramsey uses to make pasta.

we sit sipping bourbon,
eating Michters drenched cherries,
tying knots with lonely uncensored tongues.
the cherry stems remind me of me,
twisted yet sweet,
bendable but hard to break.
on the rocks my drink is just like life.
beauty lies in creating this

a ukulele
a rapper with beats on a laptop
old souls in twenty-something poets' bodies
we all know who we aren't.
we daily try to find who we are...sometimes.
we never know what we can do,
thrive on what we are told we can't.
and that's OK
we know we don't have to do it alone.

180

Life is a 180.
like half a donut,
like a sesame bagel with cream cheese and tomato,
like a bolt of lightening that misses its mark,
like a deluge that I think will put me to sleep but
stirs
my
thoughts
instead.

Thunder gets me out of bed.
like missing a first love but he's dead,
like thinking its done but looking at the one and wondering,
how I ever could have left this,
like the spiced cinnamon scent that hits my nose as I open the door and I am home,
little curled up spotted pit bull chews his rawhide and
smiles
up
at me.

I show you my photos and you tell me you're proud.
there is nobody else who knows me
like peanut butter and jelly on English muffins,
like my pillows that hold a scent like your skin,
like making toast,
like making love,
like making Valentine's decorations and hanging them in a bar,
like rice and beans,
like looking forward to sushi with you or with someone who would actually
pick
up
the
check.

and

like friendship,
like love,
like all of the above,
life is a 180
and
I
can't
stop
spinning.

Bridge Corpses part Deux

Part 1:


The weather is crappy and I can't wait for the weekend,
Today is one of those days that I just want to stay in bed and sleep all day.
This weather makes me just wanna eat, relax and watch TV.
The rain just messes up everybody's day.
I want McDonalds
Me too, I knew I should've eaten breakfast.
All I had today was two Reeses and a snickers bar.
My iPod has so many apps I love it.
I can't wait until tomorrow.
Want to go to sleep right now.
This next week is going to be stressing,
I know it's gonna be hard with two jobs and school.
Managing school and work is hard but I know I can do it.
It's hard to find a job,
Times are hard.

Part 2:

Thursdays remind me of "almost,"
I love weekends and I need a vacation!
I can't wait for spring break: the best few days of sleep, ever.
Once this semester ends I wanna go on a mini road trip with my friends,
I need some excitement!
I can't wait until spring break,
Want to live in a jungle with animals,
One more day till payday!
I don't get paid till next week: can't wait!
this semester went by very fast,
Can't wait to graduate...
It's already Week 10,
Hell yeah don't I know it.
I want to know too...
What do you want to know?
I don't know what to say.
This is a small college.
This is a small world in general.

**collaborations with students on rainy day who can't wait to get out of school...